Saturday, May 4, 2013
It’s that time again! Time to share more un-recipes from my collection, ‘Errant Recipes Gone Good.’
As you know, I once made bruschetta in error with a broken bread maker, and gluten-free pizza crust the day I ran out of flour. Check it out here > Accidental Pizza Crust
And now, JUST in time for Cinco De Mayo Sunday, I’ve created Fiesta Pomme-Porridge!
Yesterday, I was simmering organic red potatoes to make potato salad to celebrate Cinco De Mayo, but it seems instead of turning them OFF... I turned them DOWN.
They simmered all day long while I busied myself joining Twitter for several hours, ensuring the privacy-violation of every person and organization I have ever emailed by allowing Twitter to invite them to join the cult.
I am certain the reservation hostess at Davio’s, a Pro-Flowers customer service rep with whom I exchanged hostile words, and the owners of Mount Wachusett were thrilled to receive a big e-envelope with my name in bold, “CAROLYN GIVEN invites YOU to join TWITTER!”
The resulting guilt led me to take my spousal unit on a two-hour meander through undiscovered rural recesses of our town.
As the sun began to set and our calves noodled beneath us, we quivered our way up to the house to microwave spaghetti squash and pour sauce over it, eat, then doze to Touch.
Just before bed, I remembered to drain and refrigerate the potatoes.
Which is when I noticed the stove-top’s ‘red light’ blaring, alerting me that a burner was on.
Huh, I thought. I wonder which burner I lef---
I ever-so-gingerly lifted the pot’s lid – much like a coroner lifting the sheet so survivors may identify the remains.
“There is Elmer’s,” I reflected, “and there’s... this.”
In the hot murk lurked a mighty flotilla of ex-pomme de terre – (Do you speak French? This means apples-of-the-earth and they are eaten in Paris and most Territories of Canada. In the US, they are spuds. In my house, they are gruel.)
Bobbing in the white-wash was what looked like a poorly re-enacted naval battle. Nobody won.
After draining the glue-water, I anger-mashed the carnage and tossed in some coconut oil and coconut milk (I had not planned on making mashed potatoes so had no dairy products on hand).
As a ‘nod to the missing dairy’ I tossed in some Fiesta Cheese I was saving for Sunday.
The BEST mashed potatoes, ever!
Here is the Recipe:
Fiesta Pomme, Olé!
On the Eve of Cinco de Mayo, boil infant red potatoes violently for one day to ruin-stage; mash or simply ‘move’ them about with a wooden spoon; add oil-of-the tropics from lands-afar and mild cheese. Sprinkle a little sea salt and freshly ground black pepper. Reverently sing, ‘Hear us when we cry to Thee, for those in peril on the sea’ – then plate.
Garnish with black beans, corn niblets, minced garlic and finely chopped serrano chille. Use safety scissors to cut-up some cilantro and, voila! Or as we say in Spanish, ‘Hé aqui’ which means, “Enjoy These Cinco De Mayo Fiesta Potatoes!”
Happy Cinco De Mayo Eve!