It’s that time again! Time to share more un-recipes from my collection,
‘Errant Recipes Gone Good.’
As you know, I once made bruschetta in error with a broken
bread maker, and gluten-free pizza crust the day I ran out of flour. Check it out here > Accidental Pizza Crust
And now, JUST in time for Cinco De Mayo Sunday, I’ve created
Fiesta Pomme-Porridge!
SO …
Yesterday,
I was simmering organic red potatoes to make potato salad to celebrate Cinco De
Mayo, but it seems instead of turning them OFF... I turned them DOWN.
They simmered all day long while I busied myself joining
Twitter for several hours, ensuring the privacy-violation of every person and
organization I have ever emailed by allowing Twitter to invite them to join the
cult.
I am certain the reservation hostess at Davio’s, a
Pro-Flowers customer service rep with whom I exchanged hostile words, and the
owners of Mount Wachusett were thrilled to receive a big e-envelope with my name in bold, “CAROLYN
GIVEN invites YOU to join TWITTER!”
The resulting guilt led me to take my spousal unit on a
two-hour meander through undiscovered rural recesses of our town.
As the sun began to set and our calves noodled beneath us,
we quivered our way up to the house to microwave spaghetti squash and pour sauce over it, eat, then doze to Touch.
Just before bed, I remembered to drain
and refrigerate the potatoes.
Which is when I noticed the stove-top’s ‘red light’ blaring,
alerting me that a burner was on.
Huh, I thought. I wonder which burner I lef---
Oh
My.
I ever-so-gingerly lifted the pot’s lid – much like a
coroner lifting the sheet so survivors may identify the remains.
“There is
Elmer’s,” I reflected, “and there’s... this.”
In the hot murk lurked a mighty flotilla of ex-pomme de
terre – (Do you speak French? This means apples-of-the-earth and they are eaten
in Paris and most Territories of Canada.
In the US, they are spuds.
In my house, they are gruel.)
Bobbing in the white-wash was what looked like a poorly
re-enacted naval battle. Nobody
won.
After draining the glue-water, I anger-mashed the carnage
and tossed in some coconut oil and
coconut milk (I had not planned on making mashed potatoes so had no dairy
products on hand).
As a ‘nod to
the missing dairy’ I tossed in some Fiesta Cheese I was saving for Sunday.
The BEST mashed potatoes, ever!
Here is the Recipe:
Fiesta Pomme, Olé!
On the Eve of Cinco
de Mayo, boil infant red potatoes violently for one day to ruin-stage; mash or
simply ‘move’ them about with a wooden spoon; add oil-of-the tropics from
lands-afar and mild cheese. Sprinkle a little sea salt and freshly ground black
pepper. Reverently sing, ‘Hear us when we cry to Thee, for those in
peril on the sea’ – then plate.
Garnish with black
beans, corn niblets, minced garlic and finely chopped serrano chille. Use safety scissors to cut-up some
cilantro and, voila! Or as we say
in Spanish, ‘Hé aqui’ which
means, “Enjoy These Cinco De Mayo Fiesta Potatoes!”
Happy Cinco De Mayo Eve!
