My next-door-neighbor, Sue, for example, just visited me sporting a new hole in her nose with a precious gem inside it!
A new computer program at my doctor's office spits out everything in hard copy from each visit, which gets presented to me by my physician, her assistant, the vital-signs nurse, facilities management staff and the booking secretary when I try to leave after giving her my co-pay. "Wait. Please take a copy of today's visit-data." "But I already--" "TAKE IT!!!"
In case I lose any of the five sets provided, they thoughtfully mail out a fresh one within 24 hours.
I have been witness to the same data-set six times in 48 hours -- so the evidence is irrefutable. In two years I have lost one inch. That's eleventy-two THOUSAND micrometers.
Just when my buttocks atrophy to pita-depth and spinal discs compress to the consistency of my tub’s drain flange, I can look forward to having what looks like a second ass on my chest.
I even MET someone who discussed this phenomenon the same day that Emily did! I will call her Glinda. Because she is a witch. She can use needle-and-thread to make magic happen on a mother-of-the groom dress.
Hey, thanks to the makers of The Buty-Pad and the $*&@ Sock for helping me understand it is my duty to enhance appendages for special occasions. And Special-Occasion Thanks to Darcy Perdue for the breast-sock concept that inspired my nautical-dress hoisting. Avast and shiver me chips ahoy... this sleeveless dress be chilly. Arrrrr.