Monday, December 24, 2012

Mrs. Given Gets A 'SNOW DAY' For Christmas!!!

Oh it’s going to be a holly jolly Christmas this year!  FINALLY, Christmas is getting a Snow Day.

 I don’t mean the morning flurries that optimistic meteorologists are predicting for tomorrow.   (Don’t bother charging your digital camera for the White Panorama: the weather-people just want attention. )

No, this ‘snow day’ means that our Christmas is ‘delayed.’  By two days.  Woo HOO!

I am SOOO behind on cooking, shopping, wrapping.  Don’t even have the tree up. 

Because, as an early Christmas gift, our three sons gave us a reprieve by spending Christmas Day AND the day after with their fiancées and families -- in entirely different zip codes, one in Sunny Canadia!

I hate to sound all Pollyanna, making lemons out of lemonade, because deep down I’m a shameless opportunist.  But I could not be happier. 

An extra two days means I can BLOG Christmas Eve morning, which, as you can see I am doing right now in my Ralphie Christmas Boxers and black wife beater.

I even took time today to read and respond to a newsy email from a friend who – get this – is also not with her kiddos on Actual Christmas Day, so she invited us to her place for tomorrow, late morning!

I, for one, have nothing to do right now, so let me share my e-response with you:

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“Dearest R,

“I am DELIGHTED you took yourself, solo, to see the film, Lincoln! Sounds like an historical epic! What a coincidence, because I almost did this on the same afternoon!  I left the house at 2, hit the dump, then the liquor store for a bottle of SUPER On-Sale white-cake vodka for Abby (nothing says 'I love you' at Christmas like half-off her favorite flavor), then OFF to the mall.

“It was 7:50 when I loaded the last Christmas bundle into the Blazer.  I was seeing double by then, so I drove straight home. Next time you wanna go to a movie alone, call me. We’ll do it together.

 “Another coincidence, when you mentioned your son’s college applications, I remembered I just blogged about it.  You and your son can review it here:

“We’ll try and swing by tomorrow, late morning. But I have to tell you:  I spent some of my ‘NEW free time’ today laying out unwrapped gifts for everyone, to discover -- before we unwrap them this year – which child I forgot to shop for.

“It was stunning. Might have to pop out later today.

“Meanwhile, last night was so relaxing.  Jonathan, Abby and I were reveling in the cooking I wasn’t doing 48 hours before the holiday. Abby – ever thoughtful – piggy-backed on the revelry by ordering pizza for dinner, then suggested we not trim the tree.

  “’Won’t it be fun,” she posited, “’to lounge in the living 
   room tonight slurping pizza and watching movies, knowing  
   we’re trimming the tree CHRISTMAS MORNING? We can do
   it to Christmas Carols!’”

“We danced in the kitchen at the prospect of this new tradition.  I just hope the kids continue to not come on Christmas Day.

“Another Christmas miracle a la Abby took place. For the FIRST time ever (light a candle in the window, sing the Gloria Patria) she wants to make Christmas cookies with me.  And I quote:  ‘You know the ones you buy in a tube?’

  "’Of course I do.  I just blogged about it in EAT IT RAW 

   "’Mama, stop self-promoting.’


   "’I believe your FAVE Christmas cookie, Mommy, is sugar-
   cookie raw dough, right? You said it reminds you of white
   cake with white frosting that you like so much.’

   "’No, honey, that’s YOU. It's why you like cake-flavored

   "’I hate that shit.  It’s YOU that like it and where was I?  
   You keep interrupting. Oh, so we can get out a cookbook
   and figure out how to make raw tube dough, from

   "’Cookbooks, yes yes, we have some.  I even blogged about  
   them at   

   "’STOP THAT.’

   "’Honey, my point is that cookbooks make me nervous.’

   "’Well, I can go to Dave's Liquor Store now and get you
   some white-cake vodka. I think it’s on sale! We'll sip on
   it Christmas morning, with some take-out breakfast.’

   "’Forget Dave’s. I might be able to rustle up a bottle  

   "’YES, Mother, I KNOWWW … you blogg'd about holiday  
   binge-drinking at     

   "’You memorized the link!  --sniff--   ...thank you,   

   "’Anyway, we'll sip our cocktails, have some breakfast, and  
   make sugar cookies together!  Do you know where the
   rolling pin and cookie cutters are?’

   "’Abigail Lindley-Geneva!  How do you even know about -  

   “’The streets, Ma. I'm 22.’

       I felt dizzy. 

    "’I hope you 'take precautions.'

    "’Your kitchen-fires have taught me much, Mama, my flat- 
    mates and I use pot holders.’

“So as you can see, my dearest friend, while we may very WELL be able to swing by your lovely place before 2:30, we might also be dousing flames and electrocuting ourselves with Christmas lights dangling in tree-stand water.

“Our schedule is like the Lottery.  Except I hope we win. Against all odds, we hope to see you tomorrow!  HO HO HO!  XOXO, Carolyn”

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Before I go off to start a new Christmas List (I know now which kid I forgot), I wish you all a joyous holiday. And thank GAWD no one is coming til the 27th.  Everything’s on mega-sale the 26th.