So here and now, I wish to advise my many college freshmen and sophomores plus one personal offspring at Salem State … to NOT engage in hedonism -- or drinking -- during winter break. It's been my personal experience to return to campus each January looking like an internment victim, back from a 30-Day War. Although these "returns" were pretty atypical: I was returning to multiple campuses, throughout several decades.
I was an aspiring hedonist. Why not? By then I’d been attending college since 1976. Pretty much sober. And except for those offspring-wrinkles I hid with bangs that covered my face, my appearance had not changed. (It was helpful that Army Boots and long hair were back in style.) I wanted to avoid Christmas Break Wrinkles because I enjoyed being mistaken for Spawn of the 80s.
“I was born in the Eisenhower Administration.”
“Really, Nick?” I beamed. “What did they say, what did they EAT?”
“There was food upstairs, too?! Wow, Mom!”
“Oh honey, don’t worry about the mess. It’ll all pick up tomorrow.”